whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When did angry sex become our thing?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
