Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize