time to smoke my breakfast
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
