I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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