she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize