I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
