Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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