I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
