i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is her dick bigger than yours?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
