he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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