i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
