i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
