you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
