you win again, gameday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
