so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
