New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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