Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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