I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
