HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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