Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
