she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
