Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Alive.
So much puke
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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