like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
