He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
