I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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