too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
