i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize