He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
