Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
