is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
