im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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