So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
