end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
