Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
