Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
