i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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