Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
