i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
