Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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