This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
