someone get that fucking seahorse.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize