no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
