Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
