I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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