Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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