i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
