She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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