we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
