What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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