she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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