oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
