i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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