i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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