Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
