Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
